


The Half-Blood Harry

by LizBee



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-06
Updated: 2007-05-06
Packaged: 2017-10-03 21:47:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizBee/pseuds/LizBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry discovers the rot in the family tree. AU from OotP.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Half-Blood Harry

The Half-Blood Harry  
by Lizbee

 

"Potter," said Snape with a grimace, "I need a word with you."

Snape seemed lost for words. Harry waited until the silence had stretched into awkwardness, then he said, "Yes?"

"Potter, within Hogwarts castle and its grounds, you will continue to address me as 'Sir' or 'Professor'."

"...What about outside?"

"Outside," said Snape, looking more than a little nauseated, "you may call me 'Father'." He swallowed. "If you must."

"But--"

"I can't say I'm overjoyed either," snapped the Professor. "But Dumbledore says you have to stay at my house because I'm your closest living relative, and living under my roof will protect you from the Dark Lord. Just try to ... oh, hide in the bathroom if Bellatrix turns up."

Suddenly, Harry missed the Dursleys.

*

"Oh," said Snape, throwing open his front door, "I have a minor rodent infestation at the moment. Just hex him if he gets in your way."

For a second, Harry couldn't figure out what Snape meant. Then he saw Wormtail, standing in the corner with a nervous smile on his face.

"I replaced the wallpaper in the hall," he said, "and fixed that dripping tap. Oh, hello, Harry..."

"Turns out that Potter's my son," said Snape, sweeping past Wormtail. "Apparently due to a minor accident with a Time Turner and a Contraceptive Charm."

"Lily was always a creative witch," Wormtail murmured.

"Tell the Dark Lord he's here," Snape added, "and it won't just be a silver hand you're needing..." He waved his wand casually at the area of Wormtail's genitals. Pettigrew whimpered, stepped back and gave Harry an ingratiating smile.

"Refreshments, Harry? A snack after your journey?"

"I dunno," said Harry. "What do wizarding alcoholics drink?"

"At your age, they usually start with Madam Fizzbubble's Cherry Champagne."

"It'll do for a start. Three bottles of that, please."

*

Dear Hermione,

Life's not so bad at Spinner's End. Except for Snape, of course. And Wormtail. And right now, the Death Eaters are having an impromptu party downstairs, and Dolohov's making a speech, which is nearly as bad as the time he almost killed you.

Snape keeps trying to teach me Potions. So, nothing unusual there. Told him that I'd always thought a father would be there to fly broomsticks with me and throw Quaffles. He didn't speak to me for three days. It was great.

*

Dear Ron,

Today I hexed Wormtail so that his ears sprouted carrots. It was great. I was going to do the same thing to Malfoy when his Mum brought him around for a visit, but Snape said he'd disown me, and then I'd never inherit his mouldy house. I'm trying to see a downside.

*

Snape entered Harry's room without knocking.

"'Sup?" asked Harry, half-awake and semi-sober.

"I may have to kill Dumbledore this year," said Snape. "Try to act surprised, will you?"

"Fair enough," said Harry. And he went back to sleep.

 

end


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